by Jon Davis
(The F-words of Youth ministry)
If there is any stereotype of youth ministry it is
that youth groups gather to do fun things, to have
a good time, to be entertained, to eat pizza, have
pool parties, do a lock-in and go on ski trips. As
a veteran youth worker I must admit I've done all of
those things. Sometimes I did these things out of not
knowing what else to do. Through years I have learned
that it is important to do them, for several reasons
but primarily because they build relationships. Long
lasting, eternal things happen between people when
they play together, travel together, simply be together.
Relationships are built through several things...
When you are strapped in to a rubber
raft with 6 other people and headed down a fast moving
river where your life is literally threatened, moment
to moment, you get to be a close group. You must work
together, being interdependent upon one another. Whether
white water rafting, snow skiing, rock climbing, whatever
the adventure, these events will knit people together
as they work as a team, toward a goal. The accomplishment
of going through a challenge together, taking the risk,
is a glue that can last a lifetime.
Challenging events build up individuals as well.
Picking an event such as a ropes course (people climbing,
swinging, sliding, falling all in a very safe and controlled
course) sets individuals up for success. Seeing themselves
do things that they never dreamed they would do goes
a long way in boosting someone's self esteem. Personal
accomplishments that strengthen and build someone's
character will make them a better group member. You
do that for a whole group of individuals you end up
with a stronger and better functioning group.
(One thing about challenging events... don't push
someone to far beyond their ability and by all means
make sure parents know what you are doing and that
those liability release forms are filled out and signed)
If you are with a group for any length of time you will develop
some traditions. There was a format to our weekly meetings as well as to
our annual youth camp. Tradition offers security. In a time when so many
things are changing in a teenager's life it is important to provide them
with consistency. Rituals develop through all kinds of things. It might be
through music, a certain mixer, a story told, whatever. I am amazed at what
the Holy Spirit will breathe life into to make a memory special. For example...
After a long ski trip and
coming to the end of a 14 hour van drive. I must
admit I was exhausted. I
had one thought... MY BED! Suddenly one of the kids
cried out... "Jon, let's sing we always sing on
the way home". I didn't have it in me but in an
instant saw that this was important, so I began to
lead the van in a medley of our favorite tunes. It
led us into worship. The kids began to pray for each
other, their own needs, and a little bit of heaven
was happening in that van. The next year we did even
more as a tradition was born that accompanied our travels.
Laughter is important. Sometimes it is doing silly games. It might be
that you stuff as many balloons into a person's clothing as you can. It might
be having a battle with Q-Tips being shot through straws. Whatever the idea
and wherever it comes from it is important to have fun. Fun comes in all
shapes and sizes. Work projects, small groups, teaching sessions, mixers,
games, although they might have a purpose in relaying a truth or teaching
a principle they all have an element of entertainment. The lasting impact
of my teachings as a youth pastor I believe will be minimal in comparison
to teaching and learning that went on as a part of our recreational life
as a youth group. Another way of saying this is that I think more kids will
remember the skiing, snorkeling, bus trips, work projects, that they shared
in and that's okay because those events had a teaching built into them. The
teaching might be something simple like "be kind to one another, serve
one another" and it was taught, modeled, worked out by helping someone
with their ski equipment or fishing pole, befriending the newcomer, doing
the event as a group.
A fellow youth pastor has
made an impact on me by making the statement... "Everything we do has
a purpose". Is that ever true! There is such purpose
in our play. I learn more about a group of kids at
McDonald's after youth group than I ever would at church.
Something simple like that has a lot of mileage in
a youth ministry. Sure it might not be in the job description
but it is a very important part of the job.
So part of being a youth minister is being a comic.
Some of the skills you need are more suitable on a
cruise ship rather than in seminary. Part of the goal
was trying to keep my kids guessing as to what might
come next, building an eager anticipation in them.
I think I learned that from my relationship with the
Lord. He is constantly surprising me and make my life
fun. I often don't know what to expect next. I am learning
that everything has a purpose. I have been challenged
to do things I never have done before. I have experienced
a security in knowing that in Him some things will
never change. Our God enjoys it all, so should we!
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